The Coronavirus, Covid-19, is scary, sure. But I had it under control. After all, I teach conscious creation. I know I am powerful. I am certain I can create lemonade out of these lemons.
But I went into meditation one morning recently to meet with my higher self—to hang out and allow her to lift my resonance a bit—and much to my surprise, I began to cry. In meditation, I started crying. And before I knew it, my physical self was crying too.
What was going on?
Soon thereafter, my “meditative self” climbed onto my higher self’s lap, and curled up in a little ball, and we both continued to cry.
My higher self, in meditation, grew in physical size, until she was the size of an “adult” whereas my meditative self (still “me”) was the comparative size of a child. My higher self cradled me in her arms and just let me cry, and cry.
“Oh,” I thought. “I get it. Now it makes sense. It’s not the spiritual adult ‘me’ who is in tears, it’s the child self.”
And that’s how I knew I needed to visit with my “child.”
I should have known as much. After all, our various “selves” throughout our life don’t “go away.” They live and breathe (in their time and space) and even influence our lives and our creations for the rest of our life. We need to be very conscious of their presence and learn to recognize when they need help and healing.
If our “child” self is ignored and doesn’t get the attention and healing they need, they end up influencing our lives, and we begin to “act like a child”—exhibiting emotions, reactions, and judgments that our adult selves moved beyond years ago.
It is critical to work with the child self at any time,
but most especially in times of chaos and crisis.
Fear was not a stranger to me growing up. I was surrounded by the energy of dread, anxiety, and terror from the moment of conception. We lived down the street from the Attica Correctional Facility, which held many of the most dangerous criminals of the time. To this day the prison holds inmates serving various types of sentences (short-term to life)—usually sent to the facility because of disciplinary problems in other facilities.
My father worked the night shift at a factory some distance away, and my mother, steeped in an excessive amount of fear to begin with, slept with a shotgun under her bed and a hatchet under her pillow (no kidding)—just in case one of those inmates escaped and moseyed down the road to our house.
I managed to escape from the energies of my mother’s paranoia with little residue. But being a late “boomer” from the cold war era left its mark on my psyche as well. I still have not-so-fond memories of learning to “duck and cover” in the event of a nuclear bomb attack at my elementary school. I recall lying in bed at night, listening for planes in the sky, and wondering if “this is it” when I did hear one droning in the distance.
All children feel fear—some more than others. And when something—anything—threatens you, it threatens your child self too. And if you don’t deal with them, that fear sticks with you like glue—revisiting all efforts to process or escape it.
So, what do you do when crisis strikes?
It’s simple really—just spend ten or fifteen minutes working with your child self. The relief is profound, and you will be much better equipped to contain the crisis in your own world, and create healing and a happy ending. Here’s how I approached it:
I slipped into a gentle mediation—imagining a beautiful place in nature, letting my senses come alive as a way to ground myself in the altered state of consciousness. Then I invited my higher self in to accompany me on this journey. She entered this safe, beautiful place in nature, and I asked her, “Irhana (my higher self’s name), please help me connect to the child in me who is panicked about this virus.”
My higher self wrapped her arms around me, I closed my eyes, and we traveled, floating, back in time and space to the street and house I lived in as a child. My child self was in her yard, under a large willow tree, weeping. Because I work with her regularly, she knew who I was, and fell into my arms, sobbing uncontrollably. I held her little body and just let her cry.
She looked up at me with her big brown eyes, filled with tears, and said, “I’m going to die.”
“Oh, no you’re not,” I replied to her. “Really, you aren’t. You see, what’s happening in my world isn’t happening in your world. You don’t have to deal with this, I do, and I am powerful enough to do so.”
“But what if the virus comes here?” my child self asked.
“Listen, this is important,” I said. “I am magical now, I am powerful in my own world, and super powerful in yours. In my world I deal with time, but in your world I can change anything instantly. Anything.”
“Yes. Now how would you like me to change your world? What would make you feel super safe?”
“How about no viruses in my world—ever?”
“No viruses in your world. Done.”
“Really. What else would you like?”
“How about a candy store right next door that is free for me and my friends?”
I snapped my fingers. “Done,” I said.
We both looked up, and saw the neighbor’s house to the right of us had been replaced with a colorful little candy shop.
“Wait, I like those neighbors,” she said, a frown of worry on her face, “Can we put it on the other side?”
“Done,” I smiled. Instantly the candy shop was on the left side, and the neighbor’s house reappeared on the right.
Little Boni was grinning ear to ear.
“What else would you like?” I asked her.
“How about no more accidents, ever?”
My eyes went to her little knee, covered in Band-Aids.
“Okay, no problem,” I said, and snapped my fingers. The Band-Aids disappeared and the knee underneath them fully healed.
She smiled up at me, “That’s so cool,” she said.
“Is there anything else that would make you happy?”
“No,” she smiled, “Can I go find my friends and tell them about the candy shop?”
“Yes, of course, go. And remember, I am in control of my reality too—I will create my own safety, no matter what happens around me. If you want me for anything or if you get scared, imagine a pickle, and when I start thinking of pickles I’ll know it’s time to come and visit you, okay?”
“Okay!” And she scampered off.
I turned to my higher self, thanked her, shut my meditative eyes, and within seconds felt myself back in my body, more in control, with much less anxiety.
Talk to your child self
It’s easy to work with your child self. Many I’ve introduced this process to have marveled that their child self had so many feelings and thoughts that they’d never realized they had.
Try it, and watch your anxiety fade away. Your adolescent self, similarly, may have fear and panic around what’s happening in the world right now. Work with them in a similar fashion.
When complete with your younger selves, imagine a world that is virus free, safe, loving, compassionate, and whole.
With so much love,
PS If you aren’t sure where to start or if you need some guidance in working with your child self, our guided meditation can help.