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Everyone, one day or another, sooner or later, asks questions like these:

Who was I born to be?
What is it I came here to do?
What is my purpose on this planet?

And lets face it; none of us wants to miss it. If there is a grand reason for our being here, it would be a major screw-up if we blithely danced through life without seeking the answer to this burning question:

What is my destiny?

When you think about it, the concept of destiny can be a bit confusing.

On one hand, we create our reality—100% of it—no exceptions. Therefore nothing can really be called predetermined.

On the other hand, we come here with a definite “set up” of energies—talents, strengths and gifts that are uniquely ours. We also have some “opportunities” built-in, such as living in a free country, or being born into a family with resources.

So what gives? Is our fate predestined? And if it is, then how can one say, “we create it all”?

The Real Deal About Destiny

The exciting news is: we do have a destiny. The only thing is, it’s not absolutely predetermined. It’s more like a beautiful, perfect (for you), deeply meaningful plan. Destiny is your Soul’s dream for you.

Your destiny can make you the happiest you can be. It is what you are best cut out for. It is what can give your life meaning, hope, joy and deep satisfaction.

Yeah, destiny rocks.

Not only that, but before you were born, you set yourself up for your destiny. You chose your parents, your country, your race, your sex, your gifts, your talents, your strengths and your challenges.

What? Challenges are a part of my destiny?

Sorry…yeah, those challenges that you think are just negative crap—things to move beyond—are actually the proving ground that give you what you really need to succeed at your destiny. But that doesn’t mean you should take ten years to move beyond what you could move beyond this week. Learn the lesson and let it go.

I Learned LOTS of Lessons

I believe my work in the arena of conscious creation is part of my destiny. In 1992, a psychic told me this was my life’s work. “Yippee!” I thought, “Now I know exactly what to do with my life!” I went out and created a 6 CD set and workbook…and it was a dismal failure.

Why? Because I wasn’t ready yet—I hadn’t matured. I hadn’t proven the concepts in my own life. I didn’t know enough about conscious creation. And what I did know I gave to my ego.

Yeah, it was disappointing. But I did the only thing I could do—forgive myself and let it go. I figured I would come back to teaching the law of attraction someday, but I placed happiness first in my life, and I let the universe handle the details (the the universe is SO good at that).

I think part of the reason we need “lessons” is because many of us operate under a few misconceptions about destiny. Lets look at a few common myths…

Myths About Destiny

1.    There is only one path to my destiny – Destiny is an energy—of fulfillment, satisfaction, expression, love and commitment, and that energy can manifest itself a number of different ways. Also, destiny looks different at different places along the path. It will take some time to prepare for your destiny, to hone your skills and mature into it. And yet every step on the way to that ultimate destiny is just as important as the destiny itself—even the “mistakes” along the way.

One of the biggest “mistakes” I made was spending 3 years in graduate school, working towards and MBA and JD degree, before I realized it wasn’t my bliss.

Yes, I could have focused on those three years and thousands of dollars “lost”. But the truth was, those years were more valuable to my self-esteem than anything else could have been at the time. Before law school, I honestly didn’t think I was very smart. That experience gave me the confidence I needed plus I learned valuable information that I later used in my businesses.

2.    Once I figure destiny out—all my problems will be over – Destiny is not a panacea. But it is an opportunity to live and love life for all it’s worth.

3.    Destiny is always EPIC – Destiny will always be epic to you—not necessarily to everyone else. You may not win the Nobel Peace Prize or be the next famous whatever, but you will feel as if you’ve hit your own personal jackpot (if you don’t let your ego get in the way).

4.    Destiny is destined to happen – Destiny is a choice. You can choose to stay on the merry-go-round of “shoulds” and “ought tos” and never pursue your destiny at all—you are the one that decides.

5.    Destiny happens overnight – Destiny happens over a lifetime. It is an unfolding of who you really are. Destiny is a gift to be unwrapped over time.

Okay, so how do I figure out my destiny?

I thought you’d never ask. There is a surefire three-step process that will absolutely help you discover your destiny:

Discovering Your Destiny in Three (easy) Steps:

1.    Accept the Easy Part First

Your destiny can be divided into two parts:

a.    Overall Destiny
b.    Your Personal Destiny

You see—every human being comes to this planet for one specific reason above and beyond anything else—it is what we were born to do. Everyone’s destiny is to create a life they love. So that is your number one, first and foremost priority.

Wait a minute—that seems selfish. What about the starving children? The wars? Homeless people? Global warming?

What about them? You cannot help them until you help yourself. Your empowerment must begin with your own life. Living in joy, creating success, loving your life…is your destiny—your Soul’s dream for you.

So step one is to get cracking on a glorious wonderful dream and then learn how to consciously create that dream. Next…

2.    Follow Your Excitement

Your destiny isn’t “out there” it’s “in you”. It is what you are best suited for, what you have the ability to be absolute genius at, and what will bring you more joy (and money, should you allow it) than anything else on the planet.

And the way to uncover your destiny is by doing what excites you every minute you possibly can.

I’m not excited about anything…my life sucks.

Then start where you are. Accept your life sucks. Now, of all the sucky things you could do right now, what is most exciting? Give yourself the time and space to mentally list them.

Well, I could walk the dog, do the dishes, clean the toilets, watch TV, check my Facebook page, get a snack, or call my friend…

Good! Now try those things on…imagine them, one at a time. Which one is more exciting than the others? Do that.

And, when you are finished, ask yourself again, “What would be the most exciting thing to do right now?”

By consciously choosing the most exciting thing at every given moment you are:

a.    Loving yourself by prioritizing an enjoyable life
b.    Drawing more exciting things to you by focusing on the exciting things
c.    Giving yourself the freedom to allow your interests, talents and strengths to come to the surface

OK, but what does this have to do with my destiny?

You were born to be the most authentic and whole version of “you” that you could possibly be. And the more you do that, the more you will be utilizing your talents, strengths and unique gifts to the very best of your ability, the more you will be loving life, the more you will be following your excitement every minute, and the more you will be creating a dream come true. No matter what it looks like on the outside, your greatest ability is to be who you really are with joy, love and success.

And the cool part about that is, there is no greater gift you could give anyone around you! You will be gifting your presence, your example, and your light to everything and everyone on this planet. THAT is your Soul’s dream for you—THAT is your destiny.

But there is one more thing you will need to do to pull this off…

3.    Change the Beliefs that Keep You Stuck

It’s one thing to read these words and hope you can discover your destiny. It’s another to actually do it. Why the disconnect? Because some part of you won’t believe it is do-able. And you’ll stop yourself before you even get started. Or you’ll become disillusioned, disappointed and depressed that it didn’t turn out like you’d hoped.

So ask yourself another question: When you read about discovering your destiny, what comes up for you? Here are some common responses:

•    I’ve tried following my excitement and I still can’t discover my destiny.
•    I am not good at anything—I missed out on those talents, gifts and strengths.
•    I would love to follow my excitement but I can’t make a living at what I’m excited about.
•    I am excited about traveling, starting a business, and horseback riding, but I don’t have the resources to follow my excitement.
•    I’m too old/busy/tired to discover my destiny.
•    I would love to, but what if I don’t have one?

What beliefs might these responses point to? Perhaps these:

•    I can’t discover my destiny.
•    I do not have unique talents, gifts and strengths.
•    I cannot discover my unique talents, gifts and strengths.
•    I cannot make a living at what excites me.
•    I do not have the resources to follow my excitement.
•    I am too old to discover and follow my destiny.
•    I am too busy to discover and follow my destiny.
•    I am too tired to discover and follow my destiny.
•    I might not have a destiny.

And you would change them to these beliefs:

•    I can discover my destiny.
•    I do have unique talents, gifts and strengths.
•    I can discover my unique talents, gifts and strengths.
•    I can make a living at what excites me.
•    I will create the resources to follow my excitement.
•    I am at the perfect age to discover and follow my destiny.
•    I create the time to discover and follow my destiny.
•    I am excited to discover and follow my destiny.
•    I definitely have a destiny.

If you aren’t familiar with changing beliefs, no worries, I explain it all here.

Something Else You Should Know

Because your destiny is so connected to your spirituality, your destiny has the support of your Soul and higher self, and even God and Goddess. Yes, your destiny is über-supported. And that means every time you ask for help, honestly and without feeling like a victim, you’ll get it. Ask for direction, guidance, information about your beliefs…whatever can bring you closer to your Soul’s dream for you. And it’s as good as done.

Sounds great eh? Then go for it—make your Soul happy—start following your path of destiny today!

In joyous creation,

P.S. You can learn exactly how to manifest your destiny in The Map. Here is what one Amazon reviewer had to say about the book: “I thought that ‘E-Squared’ by Pam Grout was a good book, but this one has blown me away! She (Boni Lonnsburry) really has a grasp of things that have helped me trust in the principles much more deeply!”

39 comments add a comment

39 comments to " Discovering Your Destiny "

  • neeta

    What will b my future

  • Preeti

    I want to know about whether I will gone b marry with my bf? and about my career also…
    My DOB is 18-09-1989

  • Tim Konkle

    I’ve experienced man painful things most center on losing people I love through suicide or unexpected death also relationships and ALL OF IT has opened my mind to the infinite picture- enhanced my compassion massively, and enlightened me about my destiny. I’m still confused about judgemental people who contradict their persona consistently. I feel energy and thoughts as clearly as if they were spoken aloud and it’s become very difficult to tune that out

    • Boni

      Thanks for your comment Tim. It’s interesting how the most painful things can be such catalysts for growth. As my teacher Lazaris points out, “We are here to remind you that pain and fear are not the only methods of growth; that you can more elegantly grow through joy and love. . . that you create your own reality . . . that there is a God/Goddess/All That Is who loves you, who knows your name. . . and that you love good enough.”

      I love that quote, and seek to grow through joy and love. As for judgemental people, I would just assume their soul is learning something valuable, and try not to judge their judging. :)


  • mukesh gupta

    I want know my destiny.

  • ebere chris

    Life is very sweet when you discover your potential

  • Mamorwa

    What is my destiny

  • Janet Mokwena

    Will I ever get married

  • Janet Mokwena

    I want to know my destiny including my job , love life and wealth in the future

  • Anand

    Love and work

  • ravi kant singh

    for life

  • Lonika

    I want to known my carrer

  • Domini Celson

    This is so true! Just go and get it! No more excuses. Move your lazy complaining ass! I always say that I will never make enough money with the thing that I love to do. That is so wrong. What I need to do is get ready and wait for the right time. Thank you!

    • louis gonzales

      There is no right time, Domoni. Those who wait for the right time die with their faces plopped on the computer keyboard with an unfinished resume on the screen. The time is now…don’t be afraid to risk, Your Higher Power is riding shotgun on your journey toward your destination.

  • kloh

    yeah does great, but then can my destiny be change by any spirit?

  • Anubis

    I sure wish I could pursue mine. I know it leads to a happier place. But let’s not confuse destiny with hobbies, life, and obsessions. I cannot change mine, am powerless to do so, would not do so, even though like a wonderful and sad song it stretches far beyond this life. There is no solution for me but to wait. Mortality just pales by comparison to the eternities. I really do wish I could DO something. Otherwise, life’s fine, I guess.

  • tina

    Plz tell me my future

    • tina

      Me and my husband relationship is not good.plz help dob is 12-28-1983

    • Boni


      Wrong blog. This blog is about YOU creating your future! (And that is much much better than someone telling you what it is.)


      • Isaac

        What if you get pushed off the road to one’s destiny. What if even those we think as friends are just bad influences that guide us away from our paths. Even if we were to separate from them, what if they sometimes gave you joy.

  • bethel

    Finding it very difficult to follow my destiny because of lack of funds

  • shivaramakrishna

    when will i get the marraiage

  • shivaramakrishna

    when will i get the job

  • sumira

    i want to merry with my loveone is it possible plz tell me

  • sumira

    what is my future

  • evwodere .s. ufuoma

    Thank u

  • manisha nagrani

    i recently read this novel (destiny read and you will believe).

    this novel describes the actual meaning of destiny. It explains how life is a link and it moves in a system. All we have to do is to understand what a link is. Then the author described a principal called confusion ( this helps in understanding how two paths run along simultanously) the author is such gifted with an understanding about destiny that in the book he has completly described the actual meaning of destiny! This no one has ever been able to.

    now im not questioning life anymore because i know how life showing its links every moment.

  • Landeros

    The most amazing thing is that I can create it. This is s exciting, not only to think positive, is to believe in myself as a human being beloved by the Divine and being me. Thank you Boni.

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