Dear Boni,

Can I choose my future husband—even thought this man doesn’t live in the same city as I do, we haven’t met in person and he doesn’t know I exist?

With gratitude,
Hopeful

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Dear Hopeful,

Sorry to dash your hopes, but no, you cannot choose your future husband by picking out someone whom you haven’t met and deciding to marry him. Well, I guess you could, technically, but not using the law of attraction to consciously create a wonderful marriage.

Why?

Because you can’t control how anything shows up.

What you can have is a rich, fulfilling, meaningful, committed, intimate, safe, trusting, secure, beautiful loving relationship with a man—but you can’t decide who that man will be.

You can, however, have a preference. You can say to the universe, “I want that man, or someone better, who will make me feel…”

But you have to let the universe deliver the right energetic match to your vibration. And THAT man may not be it.

And if he’s not it, and you forced it into happening anyway, you probably wouldn’t be half as happy with him as you could with someone the universe delivered based on resonance.

But let’s go deeper. Why would you want it to be THAT man?

Likely the same reason anyone wants to control an outcome—the fear that you won’t get what you want.

You see, before we really understand conscious creation, we tend to look “out there” for what we want. When we see something that we think may fit the bill, we pounce on it, fantasize about it and think, “If I can just make THAT happen I will get what I want.”

And more often than not, we stay stuck in fantasy, never creating anything close to the thing we want.

But you, Hopeful, can take your power back. You can change the beliefs that are in your way, such as:

I can’t create a man whom I want to marry.
I can’t create a loving wonderful relationship.
There aren’t men out there who are right for me.
It is impossible to meet any good men.

And maybe:

I don’t deserve a loving relationship.
I am not good enough to marry a wonderful man.

You see your beliefs are only beliefs. They can be changed. And when you change them, your reality changes.

And also…

I strongly suggest spending some time with your adolescent self. Along with your beliefs, they are likely the one who is keeping you stuck in fantasy.

Think about it—adolescence is all about fantasy—imagining the hot teen idol will come and sweep you off your feet, and that everyone will love you and recognize how wonderful you are.  That’s all fine and dandy while you are an adolescent. But at some point you need to grow beyond that.

And why haven’t you?

Because your adolescent self never felt powerful enough to create her dream. And neither do you.

But the fix is easy! In meditation, go to see your adolescent self where she lives—the same house you grew up in. Let her complain to you how sorry her love life is. Encourage her to tell you her fantasy—then, give it to her. Yes, give her everything she ever wanted.

I’ve given my adolescent a worldwide modeling career, a private jet, a stunning wardrobe, and the teen heartthrob of my time wooing her daily. And boy, is she happy! And because she is happy, she doesn’t mess with my life any longer.

It doesn’t matter what your adolescent wants, it just matters that you give it to her—and that she feels loved, safe, and happy. Give her whatever she needs to feel that way.

Change these two things, Hopeful, and it won’t matter what happens with THAT man—because you’ll create YOUR man (using the law of attraction for love in a positive way!) and you will be thrilled.

In joyous creation,

Working with your younger self can make a huge difference in your ability to consciously create your world.  So many of our beliefs are based off what we learned as children. Our guided meditation leads you on a journey with your younger self so that you can discover and repair limiting beliefs that are holding you back.