Hello Boni!

I have a problem. I know what I want out of this life—amazing love, great friends, travel experiences, laughter, meaningful conversations, just plain fun, losing pounds, gaining money and helping people get healthy.

But I’m in a depressed and anxious rut. I’ve struggled with severe anxiety for eleven years and can’t even seem to muster up the energy to write out my intentions let alone follow through.

I’m only 22 and I know I’m on the right path learning from you and others but do you have any advice on how to get yourself up and motivated?

Thank you so much!

Signed,
Anxious but Hopeful

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Dear Anxious (and Everyone Who Can’t Get Motivated),

You are not alone in your inability to move forward. And I understand that it can be quite frustrating to see that you are creating it all but feel unable to take the steps you know you should take to improve your life.

We all lose our motivation from time to time. The reasons we become unmotivated are varied. Each person has their own story—their own reason. Here are some possibilities for you to consider to help you figure out what the reason is for you:

1.    Maybe you just need a break

Last week was an unmotivated week for me. I couldn’t write. I couldn’t work. I only wanted to walk on the beach (I know, who doesn’t, right?). Seriously though, I knew it wasn’t a case of anything but needing some time to integrate changes that had taken place inside of me.

Sometimes we need to play. Sometimes we need to socialize. And sometimes we need to hibernate (OK, for me, a lot of times I need to hibernate!). Recognize you have a pattern of growth. And honor it.

2.    You don’t (really) believe it is possible

This is the reason most people can’t move forward. They hear about the law of attraction and it sounds too good to be true. They are petrified to test it out because then when it inevitably doesn’t work, they don’t even have the juicy fantasy that they could create their wildest dreams come true.

Take some time to look at and test for your foundational beliefs. You have to change the beliefs that say it won’t work or won’t work for you before you can begin to create it working. Conscious creation is a process—be patient and methodical. It always works.

3.    Your child or adolescent is running the show

It is the adolescent in us that thinks it is just too much work to consciously create our reality—they want the shortcut. They want to already be there. It is the child self that is afraid they won’t do it right, so why bother?

Both these selves can interfere to the point of paralyzing you, if you let them. How do you handle them? In meditation, go back to the little “you” and talk to him or her. Ask them what they think, how they feel, especially about what is going on in your life at the moment.

And then make them safe. Give them a life they love. Make them promise to stay there and assure them you have your life handled. This little exercise will make a world of difference.

4.    You’re afraid of the consequences of success

Many times if we chase down what is really bothering us about moving forward, it’s none of the above. It’s that we are afraid we won’t be able to handle or keep the success we say we want.

What is underlying this fear? Beliefs. Beliefs such as:

If I am successful, it will be too much responsibility.
If I am successful, I will be too visible.
If I am successful, then I will lose (my friends, family, easy life, etc.)

But these are only beliefs. And beliefs can be changed. You don’t only create your success, you create what happens after the success too. Don’t forget that. And change those beliefs!

5.    You like life they way it is

Hey, don’t argue with me about this one. If you don’t think a part of you likes failure, victimhood, martyrdom, struggle, etc., you need to look deeper. Part of you likes it simply because you know it. Another part might get a little bit of attention from people when you complain. Yet another part might like blaming others for everything that has gone wrong.

And you know what? It’s your life and you can create it any way you like. But don’t pretend you don’t benefit from your negativity. Once you realize you are creating it all, you can no longer call yourself a victim. And remember, not making a choice is a choice too.

6.    Your negative self is talking smack

You really can’t blame them. That is what negative selves do. They lie. They degrade. They sabotage. They demotivate. They say things like, “Why bother, nothing will work anyway?” And, “Why do you waste your time on this creating stuff?” And, “Are you crazy? You are destined to fail, be fat, ugly, unloved and unhappy!”

Remember—they lie. But if you keep listing to them without really listening to them they are pretty effective in keeping you tied down to mediocrity. How do you deal with them? Listen to them fully and consciously—for five minutes a day. You can do this while you walk, or in the shower or even driving the car if you’ve practiced a bit first. Listening to them gets their vile all out in the open, so your Higher Self can lift it and them from your energy field. And you will be free. (Until tomorrow…but tomorrow, just do it again!)

7.    You need help

If you are dealing with depression and anxiety that is debilitating, please seek professional help. Lazaris has some wonderful recordings on healing anxiety and depression, too. You can find out more at Lazaris.com

And for everyone, ask for divine help. Ask your unseen friends to assist you in finding and keeping your motivation, your spark, your spirit and your passion. Ask for help in healing, in growing and in becoming the person you came here to be.

We all need help from time to time. And we all can benefit from help every single day. There is no need to do this alone.

And once you break free from the reasons you can’t get started, you’ll be able to start changing your reality. There is nothing that motivates like success! But even then, we all go through periods of wax and wane, activity and stillness, growth and integration—embrace that.

Also, every new dream brings with it new challenges, new beliefs to be changed, a new image to stretch to and new growth to be done. The real trick is to enjoy the process as much as you possibly can—and to not be tied to specific results.

With love,