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People have been reading (and loving) “The Map”. And even though it is a complete practical guide to manifestation, questions still arise. Here are some of the most common:

On Creating Your Own Reality

So, if I really believed this worked, I wouldn’t have to lock my doors, right?

No. If you really believed you created your own reality AND believed that you
create your own safety AND believed locking your doors makes absolutely no
difference to your safety, one way or another…THEN you wouldn’t have to lock
your doors.


Is it really possible that people “create” the horrible things that happen to them—like losing a
child, physical or sexual assault, car accidents, etc.? Did the people at the World Trade Center
cause that? How about those who died in the Holocaust?

This question cannot be answered in a sound byte. So please, read my entire response carefully before you jump to conclusions about the answer.

When I say, “we create it all”, I really do mean…we create it all.

However, the vast majority of what has been created on this planet, thus far, has been created unconsciously. How would anyone create such horrors, even unconsciously?

The same way one creates anything…with emotions around the issue (i.e. the thought) and beliefs.

Emotions such as:

• Terror
• Fear
• Feeling persecuted
• Feeling unsafe
• Hopeless
• Helpless
• Victimized, etc.

But even strong negative emotions such as terror, wouldn’t create tragedies unless someone held beliefs that would support such realities, such as:

• I live in a terribly unsafe world.
• I can protect neither my loved ones nor myself.
• I must be ever vigilant to keep myself safe.
• Life can only get so good, then the other shoe drops.
• Bad things happen to good people.
• There are evil people in this world.
• Life doesn’t make sense.
• We all are victims of chance and fate.

Because there have been a lot of people in our world who, for a very long time, have believed in fate, darkness, evil, powerlessness and atrocities, it is not surprising to see atrocities manifesting, seemingly without cause.

Please understand, I am not making light of tragedy. It is deeply painful and does seem absolutely random. But it is not. However, it is also not as simple as “lets think happy thoughts” and the tragedies will disappear.”

No, it is not simple. But there are reasons—for everything. And “The Map” is about becoming conscious of how we are creating our reality so we may change our reality.

And although at first we must dream a better life for ourselves, and learn how to create that, eventually we will be able to dream a better world to live in, and learn how to create that.


So are you saying if a parent lost a child they created that?

No, I am not saying the parent consciously created the child dying—of course not. I am saying the child had their reasons, as did the parents, for unconsciously creating such a reality (which is, remember, an illusion—the actual child’s body died, but the child did not).

Some creations are chosen before we become physical. In the case of a child leaving
seemingly before his or her time, we can only guess at why they might have chosen
that. One very possible scenario is that it was chosen out of love.

Imagine three souls thinking about what they want to accomplish during the lifetime to come:

Soul 1 says, “I really want to learn about forgiveness next lifetime.”

Soul 2 says, “I would love to help you with that! Why don’t you blame me for
something you find really difficult to forgive?”

Soul 3 says, “Hey, I know…why don’t I come for a short time as your child and you,
as parents, blame each other for something relating to my death? Now THAT is a good
setup for forgiveness, right?”

Soul 3 may show up only to help Souls 1 and 2 with the lessons they chose to focus on. That is one possible scenario about it being chosen out of love. Of course, every soul, every person, every lifetime is unique, and the only people who can really know why events are chosen, are those involved. But it is information we each can become conscious of, and we can have impact on even those decisions we made before this lifetime. However as with all creations, we cannot control what it lookslike, but we can create the essence.


I’ve been successful my entire life. I have more money than I need or want. I moved up the career ladder faster than anyone I know. I have a wonderful family, great coworkers, awesome dogs, etc.

My life is not perfect. I do want more, but I have a pretty great life. Here is my confusion: my conscious thoughts have been fraught with tons of fear and self-doubt.

And yet, I somehow created a really nice life. So although I do want more of the good stuff, it’s clear to me, my conscious thought is not what got me this great life.

Furthermore, when I do attempt to consciously create, I get stuck. What am I doing wrong? And more importantly, what am I doing right (so I can do more of it)?

What a great question! I can see where you would be confused and reticent to move forward.

Although I do not know you personally, I do know that we are creating our realities 100% of the time. And most of us are creating unconsciously, as were you.

You say your conscious thoughts/emotions were fraught with fear and self-doubt. And yet you created a pretty darn good life for yourself.

I want to point out, that from what little you wrote, you also have been flowing a good deal of gratitude. You feel grateful for the good in your life. And gratitude is a powerful creator.

As I say, I don’t really know you, but I suspect you have also felt joy living this life? Again, joy is a powerful creator. It says to the universe, “my life brings me joy…” and the universe says, “OK, you got it. More reasons to feel joy for you!” And it is a very loving (as opposed to vicious) circle.

I also suspect you have some beliefs that say, good things can happen. If you work hard you will be rewarded, and maybe even if you are lucky you’ll get some great breaks, etc. Again, without knowing you I can’t say what in general they are, but I can say, unconditionally, those beliefs and your emotions (connected to thoughts) have been creating your reality.

Another important thing to know—is that positive energy is vastly more powerful than negative energy.

That said, I cannot answer why you get stuck with moving forward with conscious creation…although I suspect you might have some fear or a belief around screwing up the good life you have?

But I would ask, if you have done this well creating some great things without even knowing how you did it, imagine the possibilities if you really directed your energy? Limitless!

I have known others like you, who have very naturally created some good things. And that is fine and wonderful. But if you want more (and it’s perfectly fine to want more—and some of the more is deeper fulfillment) you will likely need to become conscious.

Editor’s Note—We received this response from the questioner:
You’re pretty accurate about a lot regarding my personal situation. My mom always told me (and still does) that I’m the luckiest person she knows. My friends once told me I’m luckiest person they know in the “career” piece of my life. I’m DEFINITELY filled with gratitude…. and I’m so thankful the good thoughts are more powerful!  Thank you!!


I have a very professional job but am an employee not an employer. I’d like to get into a field and have my own company but don’t know what field is best for me. I have been spending time to figure out what area would excite me the most and the only answer I came up with is this: Any area that universe considers is the best for me, nothing else excites me.

At this point I don’t know what actions to take to move towards my goal, which has no clear definition. What do you think?

I am assuming you have read “The Map”…and your question relating to “action” means what “inspired action” should you take (as the 5th step to conscious creating). Obviously there are lots of other steps such as setting strong intentions and feeling the emotions that you want to feel when you own your own company, such as feeling free, secure, prosperous, excited, creative, energized, happy, limitless, etc.

As to what actions to take (when you don’t know what your business will be), I would suggest reading books on entrepreneurship, subscribing to Entrepreneur Magazine, interviewing some successful entrepreneurs or joining a group of them that meet in your city.

You could also drive around town and imagine where a good office space would be, or taking a class in accounting for CEOs, or learning about marketing (no matter the business you will need to know how to market).

Expect that your dream will come true, start feeling the excitement of that, and you will be “inspired” to do even more things to prepare you for your new business!


At what point in your life, when you were at those times before you discovered “The Map”, what was it that was your turning point to discover it, and how did you just suddenly know what to do?

My personal turning point was when I hit bottom, and found myself with nothing…no job, money, home, and even my kids had moved away with their dad. That’s when I let go of all my preconceived notions of who I was and what my life “should” look like. I then was able to stop feeling so bad about myself and my life. I chose happiness first. Then, bit by bit started applying what is now “The Map”. And because I had nothing to prove (i.e. I had let go of control) and was happy already…it began to work. I applied it bit by bit to each and every part of my life. I am still applying it, each and every day. And it continues to work…brilliantly!!!

And how did I suddenly know what to do? I didn’t. I used a lot of trial and error. But I have been studying these principles for nearly 30 years, so I had a lot of knowledge. I just wanted to develop a methodology that was simple, straightforward and could guide others and myself when we lose our way. And “The Map” was born.


On “The Divine”

When you reference “God” in the book, “The Map”, is this referencing the “God” that
traditionally is referenced in religious organizations?

God, or Source, or The Divine, or whatever name you want to call Him/Her/All That Is, is ultimately indefinable. We each have our own, individual relationship with Them. I believe religions, books (even “The Map”), and other’s “takes” on God are simply interpretations.

There is a Zen saying, “Don’t mistake the finger pointing to the moon for the moon.” I think many of us try to interpret God through others, instead of having a relationship with The Divine ourselves. While others might help us to find that relationship, it is our personal, intimate relationship we came to experience.

So yes, I am referencing God of religious organizations, to some degree. And no, I am not totally, because I find most organized religions have limited God and sought to speak for Him/Her; and the God I refer to is without limit, absolutely nonjudgmental
and 100% unconditionally loving.


How long does it take to make a connection with an unseen friend like your higher self?

Your unseen friends are connected with you 100% of the time whether you are conscious of that or not. But to make a conscious connection with them takes no time at all. Simply think of them and you’ve done it.

However, creating a relationship with them is an ongoing process that will deepen and become more intimate for the rest of your life. Similar to relationships with humans, your relationship with your higher self and other unseen friends will richen and grow as you work with them, talk with them and feel their love, guidance, and support.


On Defining Your Dream

As I was making a list of my intentions, a thought occurred to me—do I have too many?

I don’t believe one can have too many intentions—unless it feels overwhelming to you. In that case, I would limit them to a number that makes you feel comfortable, and then add more as you begin to see changes in your life.

Also, by grouping your intentions as outlined in “The Map” (overall, immediate and core), it allows you to have many overall intentions, but to focus on just a few at a time.


I have both small and large intentions on my list. Should I separate my list into two lists—a small list and a large list, and take on the larger intentions after I have received the smaller?

I would not necessarily separate them into large and small intentions, however it is fine if you wanted to. I would use the groupings suggested in “The Map” (as explained above), but I might suggest concentrating on creating the smaller ones first.

It is always helpful to have a few successes under your “belief belt” before you tackle larger creations. Meanwhile, even though you aren’t actively working on the larger creations, just listing them in your intentions flows energy to them. They can be steadily growing in the background while you focus on the little ones, so when you get to the bigger ones, they will already have a head start.


As I was reading your sample intentions about loving partnerships, I realized even though I have a relationship with someone, a lot of what is on your list I don’t have. If I ask for those things will I risk ending my current relationship? I don’t want that to happen!

The sample intentions in the book are just examples. They are not meant to be your intentions. However, if there is something you want in your relationship that you do not have, then yes, it should be in your intentions.

Will you risk ending your current relationship? Maybe. Maybe not. You can have a preference to have the essence you want (love, tenderness, intimacy, joy, commitment, etc.) with the person you are now with. But if that person doesn’t want to go there, then yes, the relationship may end in order for a relationship to enter with a person who will go there.

And yes, that is scary. But dancing the dance of co-dependency is even scarier. No one is making you end your relationship, now or in the future. But if you don’t dream, and believe you are worthy of that dream, you will never, ever create it. It is always your choice.


You write that intentions shouldn’t be specific for it won’t have enough room for limitless blessings, but what about desires?

What if I desire lets say a house—my dream house. And I have a few specifics about the house I want to include—is it okay to have these details, yet leave room for miracles?

Your intentions (and desires/dreams/etc.) can have specifics if you know them and if they do not feel limiting. If you know that you want three bedrooms, an office and a workout room, for instance, there is absolutely nothing wrong with stating that in your intentions.

I would, however, list the more specific intentions in your Immediate Intentions, and leave the non-specific ones in your Core Intentions.

A core intention for your Physical Surroundings might be: I intend to live in a beautiful and spacious home, filled with light and love, which makes me feel protected, warm, grateful, expansive, safe, happy, peaceful and as if I belong.


I was LOVING your book and all seemed to make sense but then I came to the part about intentions and I became confused. Honestly, it made me say “what? ” out loud! I wanted to ask you about your intention for the book. You wrote:

“I intend for this book to serve as a map to help people learn the principles of conscious creation. I intend for this book to help people successfully create their own realities, reduce their fear and increase their esteem, power, love, joy and success.”

I get it all, all seems great except for the fact that you included “fear” in your intention. Yes, you said ‘reduce” fear but isn’t that the same as saying you don’t want something negative in an intention? By mentioning it are you not calling it to attention? Can you please clarify this? Perhaps you think that wishing people no fear would be too big of a leap, and that reducing is a good start and that is why you wrote it that way? For me, if fear is in the intention, I just don’t get it?? I was so surprised to see that, so I had to ask you.

Personally, fear is something that I do not want to manifest more of! I was writing an intention the other day about not wanting fear and when I saw the negative I had to think about “what is the opposite of fear? What would I want to replace fear with? So I came up with TRUST. What do you think?

This is a GREAT question. I absolutely understand why you ask it. For the most part, I do agree, that if you can say something in the positive you should.

However, sometimes you cannot get at the energy that way. For instance, in the intention for the book, I could have said, “increase trust”. But even if The Map succeeded in increasing trust, it wouldn’t be totally addressing the fact that our world is currently overflowing with fear. And I did (and do) want to specifically reduce that fear in people’s hearts and minds. In this case, I didn’t think any positive statement could have come close to what my intention was. And so I wrote it the way I did.

Another similar statement, that is in the book (and perhaps you haven’t gotten that far), is including “with harm to none” at the end of some intentions. Again, I use the word “harm”, which by itself is a “negative” word.  But when people are first beginning to consciously create, they may have a lot of self-sabotage going on. And even if you stated an intention with the ending, “with only positive impact for all”, ultimately everything has positive impact in that it is a learning experience, and it still isn’t as specific as “harm to none”.

As our world shifts, I would leave out “reduce fear” and as people clear out the beliefs that sabotage they can safely omit “with harm to none”. But until that time, I teach to leave in what feels the best.

That said, please know the only expert in your intentions and creations is YOU. If something feels less than right for you, then don’t do it. As always, it is the energy that creates. Words are poor labels at best for something that cannot be labeled. So always, always, always follow your own heart and mind, and intend what feels the most expansive, freeing and wonderful to you.


On Flowing Energy

I want to change my old core beliefs, but I have a long list, I have 16 of them, do I do them all at the same time or do I do a couple at a time?

You can answer them either all at once or in groups or one at a time. Just be sure you are mentally and emotionally present for them all. And by that I mean, you don’t want to just go through the motions for the ones at the end because you are tired. I too, had many beliefs to change. Doing them all together is just fine.


I have been trying to change my beliefs but I am having trouble when I close my eyes I cannot see my unseen friends or my adolescent and young adult selves. I can feel them but I can not see them or hear them. What am I doing wrong?

You are doing absolutely nothing wrong. Not everyone “sees” in their mind like we see with our physical eyes. The only thing that is important is that you feel them. So you are doing everything absolutely right!


Do we wipe out our positive “steps made forward” if we have a couple of rough days?

The really wonderful thing about positive energy is that it is far stronger than negative energy. So, no, you won’t wipe out the positive steps made forward by a couple of days of struggle and negativity. But it is great you are conscious of it. Because if you are conscious of it you can figure out why it is there, and begin to take steps to shift it permanently.

Knowing how to consciously create one’s reality does not mean there won’t be challenges (there always will—every time you dream a bigger dream), and it doesn’t mean there won’t be bad days (although they do diminish over time in length—currently I don’t have bad days, but bad minutes!) It does mean that you know what to do when the challenges happen.


I have a problem expressing feelings, even to myself. My feelings were always pushed down, as protection from the outside world after so many negative things happening to me in the past. I also had believed it is the thoughts you think and the words you speak that mattered. How do I begin to feel again?

As our realities are generated by our emotions (yes, connected to thoughts, but ultimately it is the emotion that creates) it is important to learn to feel them. Yet many of us have had difficult pasts in which feeling and expressing emotions was discouraged or even punished.

But like riding a bike, you can regain the skill with practice. Begin by asking yourself, after something happens in your day (it can be a phone call, a TV program, a newspaper headline, practically anything), “How do you feel about that?”

And really search for the feeling. You will be tempted to answer with what you think about it, but be persistent—stick with it until you begin to feel.

Also, as you search for beliefs, and some painful parts of your past begin to surface, allow yourself the time and space to feel those feelings fully. Many of us who have had painful pasts are afraid if we open those floodgates we will drown in the pain. You won’t. You feel it to release it. It won’t overtake you it will free you.

And finally, practice feeling how you want to feel also. Allow your emotions to infuse all of your techniques. After all, emotions are the energy that is creating your world—so it is vital to learn to feel fully and freely.


Can I remove all of my negative beliefs at once and be done with the belief changing part?

The part of you who wants to “be done” is your adolescent self. They see the world in black and white. Done or not done.

If you understand where this work can take you, you will never be done (nor will you want to be).

Yes, you can change a lot of beliefs at once (maybe 10 or 20—after that you tire and will be less effective) for a current dream. But when that dream manifests you will dream a new dream, and then, you will have even more beliefs to change to allow that dream to manifest.

This is not a “do it once and it’s over” process. This—is a way of life.


On The Map Process

 How long will it take to manifest my dream?

I cannot answer how long it will take to manifest your dream. I can tell you that if you follow The Map, you will receive sign after sign after sign that it is working, until you have your dream. But by then, you will probably have even more recent dreams, and be excitedly (yet patiently) anticipating those dreams, and on and on and on…

And if you are not receiving the signs, The Map will direct you to what to do and where to go next. The Map is, well…a map!


You suggest giving our past “selves” different (more positive) experiences of the past. As a writer, I use much of my past either in creating memoir(s) and what is currently called Creative Non-Fiction. My experience tells me that writers who write about a “perfect” past, “perfect” parents, etc., are unable to connect with readers. I’ve always thought that telling “the truth” as we experience it, containing all it’s doubts, fears, disappointments, anger, sadness, and screw-ups, allows the reader to breathe a sigh of relief and say, “Thank God it’s not just me!” (And then recommend the book to their friends — hopefully.)

So here’s my concern: What if I recreate/re-imagine my life so well, I become the Pollyanna of the writing world? It’s one thing to be thankful for (some of) the difficult/painful lessons, but it’s another to forget the genesis of the lessons. The memory of my anger/pain/disappointment is also how I find my way back to the stories that energize and fuel my writing.

Great question…not only from a writer’s perspective—but from everyone’s perspective. None of us wants to lose pieces of who we are.

Please know this work will not result in your forgetting or being unable to bring up the emotions of the past.

When you do these techniques you will not be changing your actual past. You will be changing your response to that past. You will still be able to remember the events and even bring up the emotions to use in whatever creative endeavors you choose.

BUT…your past will no longer be creating your future.

Painful situations that we live through, especially as a child or adolescent, leave scars. The scars are the “meanings” we have assigned to ourselves or our world as a result of living through that pain.

The meaning could be “I am not good enough,” or “love hurts,” or “There is something wrong with me,” or “This is a painful world,” or any number of meanings or combination of meanings.

When you visit that past and give that “you” a different reality, it shifts those meanings. “They” become happy, and stop flowing negativity into your dreams.

You do not become less of who you are, you become more—because after this work you will have the memories of the less evolved you and the freedom, safety and security of the “new you”.


When working with your child, adolescent and/or adult self… did you come across a fear/concern/belief that they held, that while you knew it to be limiting could not find a way to refute it?

I’ll give an example: I have discovered I have a limiting belief that I must “Earn my keep”… and while “talking this out” with my other selves, I find the argument of: “Oh, so you believe you should be given anything & everything just because you are breathing?” This is difficult to argue! Especially with the teen self!

This is an excellent question! And you are absolutely right…they will argue till the cows come home (not sure what that saying means…but those cows must come home really, really late…) before they will concede that you are right. So what you need to understand is…

It is not your place to argue with them. This is THEIR BELIEF. They will argue for it, defend it and never ever concede that it is false. It is not your job to convince them otherwise. It is your job to recognize when your other selves hold a belief (which you have done in this case beautifully)…and realize YOU hold that belief too.

It is also your job (should you want a life with ease and elegance in lieu of struggle and  “earning”) to change that belief.

And then, of course, give those selves what they do want. In this case it might be something like, an easy life that they don’t ever have to “earn” anything. But ask them first…they may want something totally different.

That above all else will change their minds that they don’t have to “earn” (not that their minds need changing—but their energy does—and once you have changed your belief, and made their lives easier and happier, their energy (and yours) will shift.


I have read what an immediate intention is but am still a little unclear and am having trouble writing them. Also, the sample intentions you give are so perfectly written—to the point of being overwhelming. Where do I begin? And how do I transform them with such perfect language such as yours?

When you think about your “immediate intentions”—think about the top 3 – 5 most important things you want to manifest right this minute. Those are your immediate intentions.

Please don’t let my sample intentions overwhelm you. Start with a short list. I know I did. And then work on them over weeks, months and years. They don’t have to be beautifully written, they just need to reflect your desires.

You can take some of my intentions if you like any of them, and call them yours. Or you can simply work on one area of your life at a time, and make your intentions short and sweet.

If you only know what you don’t want, just Appendix A in the back of the book (“The Map”) and use that as a guide to figure out what it is you do want.

Ultimately, if your intentions speak you to, they are good enough to begin.


When visiting my child and adolescent they can be very rage filled and I am allowing them to be as I listen looking for beliefs. Finding many, how do I change it?

For instance: I believe my adolescent believes her reality cannot change. Into – I believe my adolescent believes her reality can change. Or should I simply write the new belief of: I believe I can change my reality?

The beliefs your child, adolescent and young adult hold are also your beliefs. They are simply beliefs those aspects of you are more in touch with than you the spiritual adult. But they are still yours.

So the old belief would be:
I believe my reality cannot change.

And the new belief would be:
I believe my reality can change.

Now, I realize the spiritual adult part of you does not believe this, and that’s fine. We leave their belief alone because it supports what you desire: creating your own reality.


What about contracts made by adolescent? Does clearing beliefs also clear the contract? Or would you suggest looking at a contract that was made and tracking down beliefs within?

If you discover contracts made by other aspects of you, such as your adolescent, I suggest approaching it both ways.

Track down the beliefs that underlie the contract (basically why the contract had to be formed in the first place) and change those.

Also meditatively break the contract. Go to that adolescent self and show her/him the contract written on paper, and get their permission to break it.

Then destroy it the same way you do a belief: cross it out, rip it up and burn it.


I visited my 5 year old “child self” but he would not talk to me at all. I even told him about several dreams of mine and tears came to my eyes. It was a special moment but he just stared at me. Is this normal?

Before I answer your question I’d like to congratulate you on allowing your experience with your child self to be what it was. You were vulnerable with your child, you were authentic and you did experience his presence. Good for you! Everyone’s experience visiting with their “past selves” will be uniquely theirs. None are right or wrong, just different, and it’s important for everyone to let their experience be whatever it is.

And yes, what you experienced with your child self is completely normal.  For some, it will take a number of meditations or visualizations before your child begins to talk with you. It is important to remember that this is not just and “exercise”. You are communicating with a very real different aspect of yourself. And this child self doesn’t know you, and it may take him or her some time to become comfortable with talking to you.

As with any relationship, give it time and space for it to grow and deepen. Your overall goal with your child self is to provide them with more safety, love, protection and guidance than they originally had growing up. When they feel safe, loved and empowered you, the adult, will find it easier to feel safe, loved and empowered. So be gentle with your child. Let them take it at their own pace. And never miss an opportunity to let them know how much you love them.


Happy creating my friends!

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