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Dear Boni,

How do you deal with the chaos?  It seems like changes are coming into my life in just about every arena.  My business is growing but demanding I learn much more intensive bookkeeping practices, my home is being repaired and improved but demanding all kinds of old stuff be cleared out, my organic garden needs a ton of work to move forward, some friends and family are dying while others are creating serious health problems so they can medically change issues they were probably born with.  I feel scattered responding to whatever situation is screaming the loudest rather than focusing on one area and getting it done.


Dear Overwhelmed,

You are dealing with something we are all dealing with: Chaos and the result of chaos – change. Yes, these are turbulent times. And yes,  you create your own reality, more powerfully and more quickly than ever before. And you are changing – we all are – more rapidly and more completely than has ever happened in any physical reality.

And sometimes that results in challenges. Challenges we place on ourselves, because it is our fervent wish to evolve and grow and experience that “life we love” that we know is available for us to live. We challenge ourselves to grow, expand, heal and dream bigger dreams – all resulting in (you guessed it) more chaos.

Chaos is a precursor to change. Chaos can be dark (stemming from unhappy circumstances) or light (stemming from happy circumstances). Chaos is generally unnerving and oftentimes scary. Chaos is the state of the unknown, when everything is up in the air and resolution has yet to be found. Chaos is a sign that you are letting down your defenses and opening up to the possibilities of the universe. Chaos can be fun.

So back to your question, how to deal with the chaos? Because chaos isn’t fun if it brings up fear. Chaos isn’t fun if it feels overwhelming. Chaos isn’t fun if it spirals from light and expansive to dark and foreboding. So here are some suggestions to not only take your power back in the chaos, but to delight in it – resulting in expansion and greater joy, love, freedom and hope.

•   First and foremost, know where you’re going. What’s your dream? What are your intentions? You can’t sail a ship to a destination without a rudder and a sail. You’ll end up at the mercy of the current and the wind. And you can’t captain your own life without being just as intentional. Write down your intentions. Read them daily. KNOW you will manifest them. FEEL the excitement of that. DELIGHT in the joy of the signs that dot the path to success. And when chaos hits, draw your stability, your deep knowing, your strength and determination in your absolute conviction that you want, deserve and will create a wonderful life.

•   Scrutinize your beliefs and change the ones that are not in alignment with your dream. It is great you took the time to outline the areas of your life that felt chaotic to you Overwhelmed. Writing or speaking of what you don’t want is a wonderful tool, because as you look back you can discover what you do want and uncover the beliefs that are standing in your way.

For instance, regarding your business, do you believe you have to teach yourself bookkeeping, or could it come from someone else who wants to help teach you or even take over that task? Do you believe growing the business can be easy and elegant or must it be a struggle? Do you believe you can “receive” success or must you earn it?

•   Narrow your focus. Ok so maybe improving your home does require you clear out the old to make room for the new (metaphorically and physically). One of my very favorite techniques is to “narrow your focus”. The technique requires you to tune out absolutely positively everything but the task at hand. And even the task at hand should be summarily “narrowed” so that you aren’t focusing on the entire room that needs to be cleaned out but the one piece of paper in front of you. Learning how to narrow your focus will help you with the next two steps.

•   Let go. It’s hammered into us from the time we are tiny that we need to control our world to stay safe. When chaos strikes, it results in our feeling even further out of control (because we are) and the knee jerk reaction is to hold on even tighter. And yet the worst thing we can do is to try and stop the flow, which is what control does.

While you’re in chaos is the time to let go of control. It is the time to trust in the universe and its benevolence and in your own power to create the life you desire. The chaos is the time your knowing is put to the test. Can you let go? Can you trust? Can you relax despite what is happening around you?

This is easier said than done. Especially if the chaos results in apparent threats of lack. Lack of a job, lack of money, even the threat of suffering or death of those we love. How does one let go in the face of fear? By remembering that what you feed grows strong. Feed your fear and you’ll have more reasons to be afraid. Feed your scarcity and you’ll have more lack. Feed your sadness about those who are making choices that are filled with pain instead of joy and you will see more pain and less joy in your life.

Let the universe bring you your dreams, but don’t control how they manifest. And don’t try to control how others manifest their dreams or their nightmares. Let them choose. But dream them happy. Hold the vision (and the resonance) for yourself and those you love. That is truly loving.

   Stay present and have fun. Let go of worrying about the future and stop replaying the past. Stay firmly in the present. Choose joy each moment. And you’ll be surprised and delighted at your ability not only to navigate the chaos, but to use its energy to further your dream and improve your life.

Good luck Overwhelmed! And let me know how these suggestions work in your world!!

With love and light,

P.S. Do you want more guidance and support? Join my private Facebook group.

4 comments add a comment

4 comments to " Dealing with the Chaos – Not for the Weak of Heart "

  • Indeed! Because many people are taught and ingrained from day one with messages to the other end, it can seem like swimming up against the tide. We are told that life is a battle, that we must strive to perfection. For most, it becomes such a chronic pattern (covert and overt) where you may not even recognize what you are thinking and doing and how this directs you and your life. Messages come about from many sources. This will wear you down and out and cause all kinds of subsequent problems.

    What I have found most helpful is to make time to quiet myself and my surroundings and tune in to my heart more, to be able to listen to my own song, to keep steering my life towards all that I want and know to be my truth. Sometimes baby steps are taken, sometimes those grand, magical leaps occur. The more you practice heading towards that, the better it gets, and even if there are seemingly steps backwards or what feels like you might be “on hold,” this presents you an opportunity to adjust your thoughts, feelings, and actions. To change your underlying beliefs that drive you this way or that way.

    When I do this, it makes a tremendous difference. Recently, I’ve been in that powerful creating place where I’m getting not only what I want, but even more in a surprising way. When I don’t, that, too, makes a tremendous difference in an opposite effect, and gives me a sign to change what I’m thinking and thus feeling. As change is occurring, you may just find yourself reverting or trying to revert back to old ways and means, but there are things you can do to release and clear.

    Instead of beating myself up emotionally like I used to do, creating more pain and suffering for myself, or getting overly analytical (another way to beat yourself up and to procrastinate), I bless it and release it and get back to the exercise of creating what I want to be, happen, occur (“be, do, have” as the guide Abraham says) instead. Many of us have spent far too much time stuck or held in the past when that’s done and over with. You cannot change it as much as you might want to. Look for a better way to be now, which makes for a better future.

    My focus is much greater on where I am and where I want to go instead, what puts a song in my heart, and that spirals outward into the world around me. I can borrow or draw upon past learning lessons and experiences if needed for something, but you don’t have to live there any more. It is a study in trust, and there are be signs along the way that you’re on the right path.

    Boni’s blog is an excellent choice in helping someone with what they can do towards taking positive steps in bettering their own life–to be happy, filled with joy, to radiate love, to attract prosperity, and moreso–all which contributes to the health and well-being of the planet overall. Stay tuned for more good things to come here!

    • PJ,

      I am sorry it has taken so long to respond to your really awesome post! (Last year as I’ve written, was a whirlwind of adventure!) I agree with all that you write. In fact, I’m nearly done with a book about Living in Truth, all about following that inner song.

      I am so happy for you PJ. You have really found so much peace and forgiveness and I love the way you are allowing that to impact your world. With you talent and passion, I am excited to see where you go from here!

      With love and light,

  • Mimi

    Amen to all of your comments! I LOVE chaos and I embrace it! My life is brilliant and I’m living every day to the max! It also seems like life gets more FUN as you get older. Yeee Haaa!

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