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While most people would argue having a life you love will make you happy, I would argue that happiness will help you to create a life you love.

Think about it.

Emotions create reality.

Be happy = manifest more in your world to be happy about. Be unhappy = manifest more in your world to be unhappy about. Easy peasy.

What? Not so easy?

No, I guess it isn’t. If it were, then more people would actually be happy, wouldn’t they?

Yes, staying happy is a constant effort. Notice I didn’t say it’s a struggle… it’s not. But we do have to stay conscious about it and continue to do what it takes to “keep the happy”. And what does it take?

Well, I suppose this might be a little different for everyone, but I have 10 suggestions, most of which on their own do shift people into happy—but combined together they are kick-ass vibe lifters!

I challenge anyone to stay unhappy if they earnestly apply these suggestions:

1. Set an intention

Intentions are the cornerstones to creating your reality folks. And every part of your life deserves at least one! Here is mine for my well-being emotionally:

I intend to live in the now and feel greater and greater depths of love, fun, joy, happiness, ecstasy, compassion and caring for myself and others; to have fun continuously, and to open (more every day) to my creativity, psychic abilities and passion.

2. Hold it in your image

When you think of yourself, do you think of an ecstatically happy person? No? Well lets change that shall we?

Your self concept keeps you locked into a reality that will support your self concept. Change your vision of yourself, and you will change your reality.

Affirmation: I am happy and becoming happier each and every day!

3. Look for reasons to be happy

It doesn’t take much of this to shift from self-pity (or any other constrictive state) to happy. Keeping a gratitude journal is one of the most amazing ways to stay happy and exuding a flow of good things coming to you.

The caveat: you must do this in earnest. Writing a laundry list that you don’t feel real love and appreciation towards is an exercise in futility. It only counts if you’re actually feeling the gratitude.

4. Empower yourself

It’s hard to feel happy if you feel powerless and hopeless. And some people have good reason to feel this way, and perhaps happiness eludes them. You’re not one of them.

If you are reading this blog you are ready to accept your divinity, your power and your ability to create your own reality. But it doesn’t happen overnight and it doesn’t happen just by saying it.

If you have beliefs that deny who you are, that downplay your power, that imply you don’t deserve a phenomenal and exciting life you absolutely adore, then change them.

If you are serious about being ecstatically happy and creating a life you love, your growth should be a priority. It is possible. Commit.

5. Slow, slow, slow down

One of the biggest happiness stealers is multi-tasking.

What? You couldn’t live without multi-tasking? Ok, fine. But you will have to give up ‘multi-thinking’ if you are serious about happiness.

Most of us are so focused on what is left to do, we stop paying attention to what it is we are doing. And it stops being enjoyable. And there goes our happy.

Give yourself 5 minutes a day, or 5 minutes 3 times a day, to make a list of what needs to be accomplished that day. That’s it. The rest of the time, slow down and be present.

Really feel the sun on your face as you walk to the car. Really pay attention to that store clerk who bags your groceries. Send ‘em a little love. Really focus on that email and only that email, not the 72 unread in your inbox.

This is a magical fix folks. Try it. You’ll like it.

6. Honor your needs and what feeds your soul

We all have things that nurture us, that feed our soul and rejuvenate us. Some of these things are actual needs.

I have a need for solitude. If I don’t get solitude at least once a week if not each day, I am not a happy camper. Life gets hard and I get cranky. For me, solitude is a need.

For my husband, physical exercise is a need. When he is able to swim, bike, play tennis or ski, everything else he does gets easier. For him, exercise is a need.

What are your needs? Are you giving yourself permission to fill them?

And what feeds your Soul? Things that feed your Soul aren’t needs, they are preferences that offer great benefit. They are the things that you love that make you more.

Being in nature may feed your Soul. Beauty may feed your Soul. Music may do this for some. Hobbies do this for others.

Giving yourself the permission and time to do the things that nurture you is a key to staying happy.

7. Take good care of you

Your body has needs, which if not heeded, can have debilitating effects on your physical and emotional bodies. Good clean diet, exercise to fit your temperament, and relaxation activities to reduce stress should all be part of your normal way of life.

If they aren’t, please add them. A body undernourished, filled with toxins, and stressed out is not going to add to your happiness or your ability to consciously create your world.

If you don’t believe you can add these things to your life, for either financial reasons or time constraints, change those beliefs! Your life is your creation.

8. Use mood altering substances

Ah, now don’t get excited, that’s not what I’m talking about.

I am talking about amazing mood altering, nature given flower essences and aromatherapy.

I have worked with Bach Flower Remedies for years. And they are phenomenally effective (actually miraculous) in lifting your emotional well-being to higher states.

Aromatherapy is another great way to change your mood. Simple and effective, aromatherapy is in widespread use by medical professionals in Europe and although it hasn’t caught on as well in the USit is readily available.

There are lots of good aromatherapy books out there, but make sure you only buy 100% pure essential oils.

9. Get professional help (if you need it)

We all need a little help sometimes. And that goes for mentally and emotionally too.

If you are dealing with intense grief, depression, anxiety or other debilitating emotional states, find someone to help you through this until you can manage getting to the happy place by yourself.

10. Ask for help (need it or not)

Finally, don’t forget to call on your unseen friends. Although this is listed last, it is actually the first thing I do when I find myself in a state less than total joy!

How do you ask for help? Just say something like (in your head), “Hey Higher Self, Soul, counselors, and the rest of my team, I intend to feel happy, and I’m not there right now… please help me to get there?”

That’s it. They are always there… always listening, and if you allow them, will always help.

Good luck staying happy folks… I know it’s possible, and I know you deserve it.

In joyous creation,

P.S. Staying happy isn’t just reading an article…it’s making real changes in your life. If you are ready for every day to be a happy day, sign up for email updates for new articles on creating your dreams, inspiration to become the person you were born to be and guidance on staying truly happy.

51 comments add a comment

51 comments to " How to Stay Happy "

  • Blessed

    Hi Boni,

    It’s been a little over a year since I discovered The Map, and my life has changed in such incredible ways I can hardly believe it. *I* have changed in such incredible ways as well (and I am so thankful for the help and the love The Map has brought me.)

    I do have a question that’s been percolating for a while. In my work in therapy, I’ve found that ‘negative’ emotions are actually quite useful — in calling attention to things about yourself, and beliefs about yourself you weren’t even noticing. On the one hand, it’s super helpful with belief work.

    But on the other, sometimes I wonder if simply changing the belief is enough. What I mean is, in therapy, I’m often encouraged to — rather than give myself an affirmation and therefore stop the feeling — to stay with the feeling and let it show me what I need to know about myself and what ‘wants’ it’s signaling to me that I’m not aware of.

    I know you also recommend not avoiding feeling the emotions, that in fact you say to sit and for about 10 mins feel them, every bit of them, and then release them. My question is, what if that’s not enough? I find myself in a situation these days where sometimes things are beautiful and I’m so happy, but sometimes there are unaddressed emotions that have been buried over the years that come up and take away from the ‘happy,’ and I don’t know if continuing to feel them and explore them rather than forcing myself to focus on happiness instead is better.

    Your thoughts on this would be so helpful!

    Love, light, and gratitude always,
    Blessed

    • Dear Blessed,

      Thank you so much for writing, and for your very kind words about The Map. I’m so happy you are creating successes in your life!

      Thank you for asking this question…it is a really great question and I’m thankful that you posed it. I was just talking with someone this morning about this very topic.

      The answer to your question is, it depends. Try reaching for a better feeling thought…set intentions…and dream dreams. But if you keep being pulled back into the darkness, look at the beliefs that hold you there.

      And sometimes that doesn’t work. Then you go back to the past, and find out what needs healing, and heal it.

      There is ALWAYS a reason, Blessed. Always. If you can’t find the reason, change the belief that says you can’t find it, set an intention to find it, and call on your unseen friends to help.

      You’ve got this. You all have EVERYTHING you need to create everything you want.

      With so much love,
      Boni

      • Blessed

        Thank you Boni! It’s so encouraging to have you affirm this, and I’m excited to find the reason/s especially! I hadn’t thought of applying the method one level up, i.e. on finding the reason for the emotions rather than on the emotions themselves.

        You are the best way-show-er!

  • Vineet

    I want to improve marital relation …

  • Biri Tamang..

    Waoo I am impressed.. Thank you so much for encouraging me.. Really it’s very good ..once again thank you.. And may god bless you..

  • Maraj Victoria

    It’s very inspiring! Thanks for sharing.

  • Rolie

    Smile at people, tell them you love them, listen, pray, see the beauty that surrounds you, be thank full each and every day you wake up and give thanks and praise. Tell the ones you love why you love them, don’t be anyone but yourself…. your one of a kind no matter what your circumstance. Take care of your vessel ( body ). Pray for mental, physical, and spiritual health. The God you love loves you big time. Lean on Him for all things and have a conversation… He’s always listening. Avoid anger, and forgive. Is it the solution for your happiness, I’ll never know. But for me, it’s made my life much better to cope with even in dire straights at times and events that are uncontrolled. I used to live in a faraway place long ago where everyday events of spectacular wonder would be what daydreams are made of. When standing in the middle of a long winding road in Gatun, CZ on a day with the rain pouring down on one side of the road and nothing on the other side watching Royal Blue Butterfly’s instinctively wait for the shower to stop so they could continue their graceful flight. Life is short-Live it well.

  • harshal

    i m crying hard right now.so i search for a blog on google i found this .thank you for these tips.god bless.

    • Boni

      Dear Harshal,

      I’m sending you love and light. Please know you have the power to change everything in your life.

      xo
      Boni

    • M

      I’m so unhappy today not good at any work I multitask even though when I sit idle I can’t find peace just look for the work to do I don’t get what to do I leave every work in middle I’m non smoker non alcoholic but my all friends smoke and drink have a very low will power I have money to fulfill my needs but I sacrifice them and save the money. Plz suggest someone that can help me

      • K

        Me too – rough day – I try at work but I can not help you. I have the same problem – struggling with financials housing and do not smoke or drink and miserable. I miss driving my own car terribly after my car accident.

  • Your Name

    I lost my husband due to a massive heart attack,I think I lost myself too along the way I am depressed all the time ,I sleep a lot,and I cry a lot. Never want to go out in public. I know I really need help

    • Shalini

      Leave,nobody is permanent my friend.come out of your circle and look into the beauty of nature.you try to distract yourself I know it is hard then still this is the only way my friend

    • Barry

      I feel the same way we have to change

    • K

      My boyfriend has heart failure and never wants to see me – says its lack of money – I am the same and he is still alive – just hopeless I may never see him again. When I call he says he is sleeping and do not call him.

  • Karen

    I’m really into wanting to connect to myself on a daily basis to create happiness in all areas of my life

  • Special

    Thanks nice tips

  • Nelia Bodley

    If you ask Pandaranol what time it is, he always says, Two seconds ’til

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  • Bliss

    This blog indeed help me gain my hope back. All the positive vibes threaded to each word synced my soul with were indeed mesmerrising. Thank you. Keep helping populace

  • karuna

    I am grateful for the article, reading this now. Thank you, big help.

  • Sandal Tomar

    Really impressive…

  • gagan singh

    I just readed this right now i apply all these to me!! Think all would be helpful.
    thanks so much
    Blessings to you!!

  • Leah benzev

    Please send me this message to my email

  • Lizzy

    My soul felt lifted and i saw myself smiling when i came to that point says honouring your need. Thanks…

  • Azeem Akhtar

    very nice tips and very easy to do. thats the best part.

  • HeartLess AP

    thank u so much i really need it…..

  • andy

    If someone want to stay happy in journey of life.read bible or bhagvatgita.second option to stay happy is,repeat word happy again and again as much as possible and see the effect.

  • parul

    nice.i hope it will help me.

  • newageBATMAN

    Words of Wisdom …

    these things are easier said than done. There are so many books already available on this aspect of life, some of them seems to be a mockery of the Subject itself.
    Even I try to help my friends, Relatives with the wise words, but when I become a victim, I can feel how useless these words are in contrast to what u r already suffering. People come to u with their words of wisdom, keep on eating ur Brain till the time u just shout to yourself – “Enough, Just leave me alone” ….

  • Koyel

    Thanks to you I feel as free as the dust in the air. Your kind and helpful advices has removed all sadness and depressions from my mind.Dear sir/ma’am, thank you very much for your help and I hope that you stay happy too.

    Thanks again for helping me understand the right way of living.

    • Boni

      Dear Hanna,

      You are most welcome. I’m really happy my words have helped you. We are all here to help one another. Wishing you a lifetime of happiness.

      Love,
      Boni

  • Saad khan

    This is helpful to a few people, I am happy because of these helpful and lovely points but i do this all the time to stay jolly. You should also add a point about music because if you listen to depressing music than you will stay depressed but if you listen to jolly, energetic, clean minded and enjoyable music (for eg Butterfly by Kōji Wada) You will never get sad or depressed.
    Hope my advise helped.
    With Love Earlyactar Saad Khan

    • Boni

      Hi Saad,

      I absolutely agree…music is a mood changer. I did mention it in my book, in the chapter on Happiness. Thanks for reminding us all!

      Love,
      Boni

  • Gourav

    hi Boni,
    i am also agree with you. it is totally depends on us to behave in a particular situation. we have to be stay wise and look how to get rid of it instead of getting depress

  • Great post! Honoring your needs – I knew there was something I didn’t get around to doing this week! You have reminded me to attend to my needs, and to remember that happiness can come in quickly as soon as I make a little shift. Thank you!

    • Boni

      Hi Rebecca,

      I agree… sometimes we forget how quickly we can shift our emotions and thus our realities. It’s awesome, isn’t it?

      Thanks so much for taking the time to comment!

      In joyous creation,
      Boni

  • inga barile

    thank you for sending me this e-mail it gave me the boost i needed. thank you again for all the great work you do, greatfully Inga

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